I’m not sure I’ve ever sat down, with full intention, and written down the things that I truly want in life.
It’s an odd exercise in that I feel like it’s overly selfish. However, so many Buddhist, some Christian and mystical teachers often suggest that in finding oneself, only then can we live into our full potential. When we are doing the things that makes us happy on a gut level, then we can be forces for good in the world.
So, what do I want to do? As Rob Bell asked, what is it that gives my heart life? There are things I like to do, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to support a family. Having often said that, I wonder why I always use that excuse? Perhaps because I haven’t found what I would truly like to do, rather than something that I like to do. If that’s the case, I have a lot of work to do still to find that purpose.
I think that may be my meditation for the next week at the very lest. What am I to do? What kind of person do I want to be in the world?
I realize this is kind of an echo of the previous few entries, but I’ve never spent time even asking these sorts of questions, so it all new. I guess I’ll be spinning my wheels a bit until I can get some traction and direction. Hopefully that comes soon, but I have a feeling I’m going to have to be intentional about focusing on the journey and not a destination.