Searching

So, here’s the thing. I’ve been submerged in this notion of deconstructing my faith, without really knowing what to call it. The terminology has come about only recently thanks to folks like Rob Bell and The Liturgists podcast, among others. Having been wrapped up in this largely cerebral process of pulling my faith apart, logical piece by logical piece, I never lost my sense of community and the overwhelming need both for myself and for my family and honestly, for humanity as a whole to be connected, apart of each other’s lives. 

Having said that, I now find myself in a space where I am ready to begin rebuilding some sort of faith (I don’t know what else to call it at this point). I find great value and energy spending time with people in real, authentic, life giving and transforming sorts of ways. 

As I’ve mentioned before I grew up in a largely conservative Christian space, and though there are certain theological and social issues that separate us, there is a sense of community, of being apart of something that is so very needed in our individualized society. But we can’t see ourselves in those churches again because if my wife is a second class member, as well as my GLBTQ friends, we can’t hang, if you catch my drift. 

So, we gravitated to progressive Christianity. Which, theologically and socially speaking, most everything it stands for, I can get behind. There are some things though that may come as news and possibly offensive to my progressive friends. The democratic political process is not going to save the world. I’m as uneasy as any other liberal Christian about a Donald Trump presidency, but I don’t think Jesus gave a shit about Cesar or the unjust laws that essentially imprisioned the majority of the population. 

I think there is a middle ground that no one is talking about. A place between the liberal change-the-laws-of-the-land mentality and the everyone-is-wrong -except-us version of conservative Christianity. And I know some argue that Christianity as a whole is dangerous, but personally, I’m not sure. What could be wrong with actually taking care of each other, like, paying each other’s bills, feeding our friends, actually living life together? When I read stories in the sacred writings of Christianity, that’s what I see and that’s what I want. Though of course, one doesn’t need a church to do good in the world, I realize that. 

But, I still long for that group of like minded people. We are looking, but I have yet to find a group, church or community here that is interested both in the compassionate life, lived in community with friends and family as well as taking care of those around us. What really makes a difference for people who are living in, say, poverty? Saying I’m going to work to change laws to help you out, or actually paying for a medical bill or trip to the grocery store? 

I’m kind of rambling now, which I guess is progress. Needless to say, I may need to visit this one again. There’s a lot here.